“If there is to be reconciliation, first there must be truth.”
~ Timothy B. Tyson
We have discussed truth by understanding different facets of truth. We have also discussed the not-so-pleasant events of Canada’s past. This is a good first step towards an understanding of reconciliation. The next step is to dive deeper to see what reconciliation is and why we want to achieve it.
—
Reconciliation is a process. It is not a one-time event. And like all processes, time and effort play an important role. For a process to be effective, both time and effort must be used wisely. For example, a process can be likened to a relationship. In a relationship, both people commit their time and energy. If one person breaks their commitment, the relationship falls apart. A relationship thrives when both people wholeheartedly commit themselves to it. Similarly, a process thrives when it is continuously improved.
Reconciliation is understanding. How well we communicate with each other determines the level of understanding we will have about each other. For example, I find that active listening is overlooked in today’s conversations. This is unfortunate as it plays a vital role in how we understand each other. How can we resolve differences if we do not listen to what the other is saying? More importantly, we need to feel what the other is saying through empathy. Empathy is at the root of understanding.
Reconciliation is hope. There is always something or someone better to look forward to. Continuing our previous example, if a relationship falls apart, there is always the chance that it can be mended. As time passes, people mature and grievances tend to be forgotten. Time is the ultimate equilibrium as we all have a limited amount of it. Once we come to embrace this reality, our focus shifts to make the best of what we have been given. As the saying goes, time heals all wounds. Something that was impossible in the past may now indeed be possible.
And once again, I offer three different perspectives to ponder. As we come to understand what reconciliation is, we also come to terms with what it is not. Better yet, we can start to understand reconciliation by how we have come to need it in our daily lives.
Have you ever reconciled differences? Perhaps you are like me and have argued about which flavor of ice cream is the best. If you choose anything other than chocolate or caramel, you are wrong. You are not going to change my mind. The only way through this thick skull is to level with me. View the world through my eyes (or taste buds) and come to understand why all other flavors are inferior. If you are successful, I may consider adding a new flavor to my list. I can trust your judgment in ice cream, right?
Though this is a trivial example, it does get the point across. Why should I trust the experience (or tastebuds) of a stranger? Have you ever tasted the top-tier flavors that are chocolate and caramel? Who are you to criticize my developed pallet? Getting back to the topic at hand, reconciliation is a process in understanding which can lead to hope.
This is good and all, but when do we need reconciliation? At what point is reconciliation required? Broken promises, misplaced trust, and errors in communication often lead us to differences in opinion and understanding. What was once orderly and expected becomes disorderly and unexpected. It is at this point that anger can set in…
“Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger… anger leads to hate… hate leads to suffering” ~ Yoda
Although a good quote for a movie, some psychologists say that the logic from fear to suffering may not be entirely accurate. And if we dive deeper, we can even see that spiritual texts like the Bible actually reflect a different outcome…
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.” ~ Proverbs 9:10 ESV
Still, anger can lead to hate, and hate can produce suffering through the consequences of the actions one takes when they are angry. For example, if I were to punch a hole in the wall, that hole exists until it is fixed. It is only by covering up the hole or replacing the wall that this problem is resolved. Of course, I can always ignore the problem and pretend like it does not exist. But like I said before, the truth always comes out.
We tend to do things we regret when we are angry. The actions we take have both immediate and unforeseen consequences. When the damage is done and our anger fades, we are left with the pieces of what once was whole. A vase smashed is a vase no more. Unless of course, we mend the pieces together.
The Japanese have an art form called kintsugi, translated as golden (“kin”) repair (“tsugi”). This practice mends the brokenness of objects by highlighting the breaks with gold. The broken object is glued together with gold which gives the object more value than it had previously. This practice suggests what is broken can be fixed, no matter how broken it has become. Once mended, the brokenness gives way to resilience.
I want you to ponder the above example for one more moment. What does this have to do with reconciliation? Well, reconciliation is a process, requires understanding, and provides hope, just like the practice of kintsugi. An object must be broken before it is fixed. Once a relationship is restored, it often becomes more stronger and resilient than its previous version. Doesn’t this provide us hope for the future?
Getting back to the topic of this book, the Canadian government by all accounts has not had the best relationship with their Aboriginal counterpart. The events discussed in the previous chapter highlight this well. However, if there is to be a healthy relationship between the two, there must be reconciliation. Once broken, can a relationship be mended back together (with gold)?
The current political climate does not cater towards reconciliation, but instead animosity and polarization. It is worsened by our inability to listen intently to each other. And even if we do listen intently, we lack the empathy to truly understand what that other person is saying. This creates a divide so wide that it can seem impossible to mend. But, if we do earnestly seek to empathize with someone, we start to realize that they have a story to tell – just like you and me.
The Truth and Reconciliation Commission was established to “facilitate reconciliation among former students, their families, their communities and all Canadians.” This was to be accomplished through the following seven goals:
Acknowledge Residential School experiences, impacts and consequences;
Provide a holistic, culturally appropriate and safe setting for former students, their families and communities as they come forward to the Commission;
Witness, support, promote and facilitate truth and reconciliation events at both the national and community levels;
Promote awareness and public education of Canadians about the Indian Residential School (“IRS”) system and its impacts;
Identify sources and create as complete an historical record as possible of the IRS system and legacy. The record shall be preserved and made accessible to the public for future study and use;
Produce and submit to the Parties of the Agreement a report including recommendations to the Government of Canada concerning the IRS system and experience including: the history, purpose, operation and supervision of the IRS system, the effect and consequences of IRS (including systemic harms, intergenerational consequences and the impact on human dignity) and the ongoing legacy of the residential schools;
Support commemoration of former Indian Residential School students and their families in accordance with the Commemoration Policy Directive (Schedule “X” of the Agreement).
I have done my best to summarize the first goal in Chapter 1. And writing this book in its entirety contributes to the fourth goal. Goals six and seven are one-time events that are now complete. Goals two, three, and five are built to be ongoing or continuous, just like a process.
Goal two attempts to establish an appropriate setting for former residential school students and all others affected by the system to speak out about their experiences. I’m not one for safe spaces, however creating an environment safe enough for these discussions is necessary, despite how difficult it may be to do so. The difficulties lie in how deep the scars go. These events were traumatic experiences and can bring up anger, fear, tears, bitterness, confusion, and many other feelings and emotions. How does one tell their story with all these difficulties? Well, I will share three different experiences I had that may shed some light on the matter.
During my time at university, I took a few courses in Native Studies. These courses covered topics such as Aboriginal writing, history, and law. I even took a course called Indigenous Erotica – a course I will never forget. In every course, there was at least one discussion that got, say, out of hand as my peers shared how the Residential School System affected their families and communities.
In one class, we role-played the history of colonialism and the introduction of smallpox. Smallpox is an infectious disease that was introduced to Aboriginals during the time of colonialism. Indigenous people had no immunity to the disease and thus took massive casualties. Only a fraction of a fraction of the Indigenous population survived.
To start the exercise, our instructor laid a dozen or so blankets on the ground. We were told that these blankets represented the landmass of Canada and also served as a reminder as to how smallpox was distributed. There is enough evidence to suggest that in the mid-to-late 1700s, the Europeans planned to kill Indians by giving them blankets infected with smallpox.
We were instructed to stand on the blankets until stated otherwise. One student was selected to be a ‘colonist’ and stood outside the blanketed area. Our instructor then started to read the history on how Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue to a new land.
When our instructor finished a paragraph, she paused and directed the events in real-time. For example, when she reached the part of Columbus meeting the Indigenous people for the first time, our ‘colonist’ was moved to one of the blankets and the student on that blanket greeted them. Our instructor continued to cover the history of the settlements, the beginnings of the fur trade, and the smallpox infections.
Once she reached the history of the smallpox-infected blankets, the narrative got real. One by one my classmates were instructed to leave their assigned blankets. Leaving a blanket was the equivalent of death. And once a student was off their blanket, it was seized by our instructor thereby shrinking the blanket land mass. Seizing the blankets was a representation of how the Europeans took over the Indigenous Peoples land.
One by one, students left their blankets and one by one blankets were seized. This continued until there was one student left on a blanket. That student was me. At this point, our instructor was done speaking about smallpox and the loss of land. Instead, she changed her tune and spoke about the recognition of these tragic events.
As our instructor spoke about the land claim rights being disputed in the courts, she laid down a few blankets. As she spoke about repairing the injustices suffered by the Indigenous people, students were instructed to stand on these blankets. One by one blankets were laid down again and students stood on blankets again. The trend was positive and it seemed like we were all going to stand on blankets again. However, this did not happen.
Our instructor ended her reading before all the blankets were laid down. At this point, only 30% of the class was on blankets. The activity ended here and we were left wondering why the rest of our classmates were not standing on blankets. She explained it as such.
Smallpox nearly wiped out the entire Indigenous population. As there were few Indigenous people left, they started to lose their land to the Europeans. However, because land rights claims have been persistent in the courts, land has started to go back to its rightful owners. Indigenous people started to have families again and multiply. The truth was coming out and some reconciliation was starting to occur.
Despite this good news, the damage was already done. How many Indigenous people would we have today if not for smallpox? In real terms, how different would my family be? How many cousins, aunts, and uncles would I have to love if not for smallpox? How much love was lost?
It was at this point that tears started to flow. Our class felt the reality of the situation. We not only learned about this history, but we understood it and became empathetic towards it. That was the first day of class.
I recommend the Blanket Exercise to anyone who wants to learn and understand the history of our Indigenous people.
As I continued my studies, I took four courses in Aboriginal Law. These courses were always interesting as I discovered that law can be messy. I also learned that each society has a different structure of law, each with differing interpretations.
In one of the more advanced courses, we learned about Sharia Law which is a type of law that has two parts: religion and theory of law. In many cases, religion overruled theory as religion is the guiding factor for all decisions. For example, if a law passes in theory, it is then subject to the religious teachings. If the law is not aligned with the religious teachings, the law will be dismissed.
I learned about case law and how we use it today to interpret certain laws. In Chapter 1, I mentioned the R. v. Powley case, a case that was won by Powley by asserting his Metis hunting rights. This case set precedent, meaning that the outcome of the case must be taken into consideration in all similar future cases.
We were now legal scholars and were assigned vast amounts of reading and assignments to prove it. Because of this, we had to take a mandatory class called Aboriginal Research. It is one thing to do research for an assignment, but it is a very different thing to do research on a group of people. Researchers must understand that there is bias in everything they read and see. To the experienced, this comes as no surprise. However, there are very few texts on this topic that give a truthful account of history. A researcher must go both deep and wide to give their research the weight and value needed to overcome these difficulties.
As this type of research is anthropological in nature, there are extra steps that must be taken to ensure no harm is done to the cultures, traditions, and participants. It is vital not to become yet another person who wants to document the history of an ‘exotic’ culture. A researcher must not let their preconceived notions, ideologies, or upbringing distort their results. It is very easy to misinterpret and misrepresent what people tell you if you cannot understand and empathize with where they are coming from or what they value most.
With each class I attended, my understanding of reconciliation grew. The students in my classes were from all walks of life. Some were like me, there to be educated about our ancestors while others were only slightly curious about history. Then there were others who would go on to be voices for their family and community, providing hope for future generations. I’m sure these individuals will make a great difference in whatever work they choose to pursue. With all of us in attendance, we learned about each other and took a step forward towards reconciliation.
Yes, you read that right. I never would have thought I would be tasked with beading a condom. First of all, how does one bead a condom? Better yet, why would one bead a condom? What purpose does it serve to poke holes in something that is designed to be resistant to tears? What purpose does it serve to bead a method of contraception? Do people really spend their time and hard-earned cash learning how to do this? Well, I guess I did.
During my time at university, I had the opportunity to take many unique courses. I always seemed to be behind in the number of credits I needed to graduate. This was in part due to my inability to plan for graduation. There were many types of classes I needed to take and the number of credits for each type of class varied. To correct this, I took classes in the spring and summer. These classes were not at all like the ones offered in a regular semester. Instead, they were interest-driven to fulfill credit requirements. One of these classes was Indigenous Erotica.
Indigenous Erotica was a class that focused on the expression of culture through sexuality. I was surprised to learn that there are many authors, poets, artists, and scholars in this field. One of the main goals in this discipline is to encourage the expression of repressed feelings through this taboo medium.
Before colonization, erotica was commonplace among Indigenous people as it expressed nature as it is. Sex is part of nature and is part of us. However, as colonization occurred, erotica was whitewashed and changed to be more “appropriate.” And once again, Indigenous culture was denigrated. Indigenous erotica seeks to decolonize sex and bring it back to the people.
Our first assignment in this class was to read lots of erotic literature and report back on the best ones. This raised some eyebrows as it seemed to highlight people’s sexual fantasies more than recognizing sexual decolonization. I can say that this class hit on the extremes: it was both extremely funny and extremely sensitive at the same time. We even had a class dedicated to sharing what erotic art meant to us which lead to one individual sharing about their foot fetish. Unfortunately, I do not think I will ever forget that conversation…
Another assignment we were tasked with was to put together an erotic journal. The journal was to house various pieces of erotic art and literature. Anything we found to be good eroticism (if that even exists) was to be put in the journal. I decided to include photos of a particular video game I enjoyed. This game was a visual love story that detailed what it was like to date as a disabled person. For some reason, I was very engrossed with the game and decided to include it.
As part of the journaling exercise, we were to add all of our class projects to our journals. By the end of the course, we had quite the display of erotica…these were, say, mostly appropriate. One of these projects was to bead a condom. To bead or not to bead, that was the question…
To start the exercise, we were all given a condom. Some were big, some were small, some were colourful, some were not. We then got a brief sex education lesson. To this day, I’m still not quite sure why. It’s not like we were going to use them as they were designed…
One of the best things to do with a condom is to…well… blow them up like balloons! They are resistant to popping after all, so you got to have some fun with them. And fun we had.
We then got a brief lesson on how to bead. For me, this lesson did not help me as I struggled to thread the needle. Not to worry though, my condom was resilient, if you know what I mean…
Anyways, our instructor prepped a crafting table for us to sit at as we had our fun. This table had all kinds of beads and condoms on display as well as different colors and thickness of thread. We all took our seats and got started beading our condoms.
My condom was blue. I did my best to bead it the way I was taught. Condoms can be quite slippery and so I had a difficult time getting it done. Despite this, I managed to get the ring of the condom beaded with an assortment of different colored beads. It seemed ridiculous at the time, but the condom looked like a piece of art when all was said and done. However, unlike most pieces of art, I don’t think that my colorful beaded condom would have made a good gift…
You may be wondering why we had to do all of this. It’s not like we wanted to spend our time on such an exercise. Besides, who would have even come up with this idea? Well, I can tell you that there are some interesting reasons as to why we beaded a condom. One of the reasons is symbolic – beading a condom brings sexuality out of colonialism providing hope for the future.
Recall our discussions in Chapter 1 where I highlighted how detrimental the residential school system was to our Indigenous people. Well, intergenerational trauma exists when it comes to sexuality. Children who went to these schools were often sexually abused and this abuse has passed down through the generations. A beaded condom symbolizes that we are still here, with our culture and traditions intact, and are successfully procreating despite these tragedies.
In a sense, a beaded condom opens the door to an honest conversation about culture and sexuality. An exercise like this gets you out of your comfort zone to think about things you haven’t thought of before. The combination of Indigenous art and latex condoms is a physical representation of reconciliation – a process undertaken for understanding and hope.
With each new experience comes understanding. And the understanding in which we develop directly relates to how engaged we were at the time. For myself, I was extremely engaged with these experiences as I got to learn about my Indigenous ancestors – which was a first for me. These experiences have brought one more person out of ignorance and into understanding.
Reconciliation is indeed a process. A process that starts in ignorance, rests in understanding, and ends in hope. When we listen, understand, and empathize with each other, we can finally start to bridge the gap between truth and reconciliation.
___
Image courtesy of Ivan Aleksic